(no subject)
I'm a tad worried that I haven't been giving this college project of mine the same 110 percent that I swore to myself that I'd give upon returning to C.I.T.
It's not that I don't have work done (I do, and ego permitting, I'm pretty proud of the material that I have amassed thus far) and it isn't a case that there isn't time left at this stage in the game in which to add to the files of work that I've so far put together (and there is a substantial amount) and improve on the material that I have already...
It's just that...well...let's not make any bones about it, I kind of feel I've been taking the piss a lot this year and faffed around a lot more than I should have.
I don't know, maybe it's a case that seeing as everybody else has a thousand different things on their plate at the moment and the only thing I have to worry about is the college project, maybe I'm quietly getting mildly stressed over nothing...
Then again, it could well be a case of the ghosts of yesteryear coming back to haunt me because though I tend to laugh it off, I need to come clean, there is more than just a little bit of fear that the same situation as last year could happen yet again and I, uh, really don't think I could stand dealing with that situation for quite a few reasons that are plainly obvious.
Namely:
1. I couldn't and can't afford to do this again on a monetary level and on an emotional level.
2. I'd much rather close this chapter of the continuing saga of James M. Fitzgerald for good as soon as the hand up of the final piece and close it with something of a flourish.
3. Related to the above one, I'd much rather get on with my life. There are a lot of things that I'd like to see and do and I've spent way too many of the past few years of my life in third level education and I'd much rather blaze some kind of a trail outside of that sphere...
This isn't something that cropped up overnight, this has been building up for weeks, but with that said and all, this isn't a cry for help though. Anything I have to do in order to get everything not so much under control but done to the degree that it should be, I'll gladly deal with it myself.
I'm sure I ain't the only one that feels like this at the moment. I think it's actually quite healthy to actually have these thoughts running through my head because it's a more than sufficient wake up call. Thus this week will be a week of action.
I also think I can speak for anyone and everyone currently handing up end of year and end of course assignments by saying "hurry, will ye to Jaysus, summertime, i.e. the real summer time that follows final exams/hand-up dates and results dates".
Anything for a bit of internal peace, not just for me, but for all of us.
Farewell.